The Roommate Rulebook: Tips for a Happy Shared Space

1. Communicate Early and Often

Communication is key to a great roommate experience. Whether it’s talking about having guests, sharing responsibilities, or simply checking in with each other, being open and honest with your roommate goes a long way. This way you’re both on the same page from day one, and you are able to avoid conflict. Even if your roommate is your best friend, these are still important things to let each other know, because you truly never know somebody until you live with them. The more you communicate and the earlier you do it, the more comfortable and respectful your living environment will be for both of you. 

2. Keep Common Spaces Clean

If I could give one piece of advice, it would be that dishes do not get better the next day. Do everyone a favor and keep your common space clean. A tidy space makes everyones life easier. Simple things like taking out the trash, picking up after yourself, and doing your dishes make a world of difference in your space. Every so often getting into the nitty gritty like dusting, vacuuming, and disinfecting makes your space feel brand new! You and your roommate can even break cleaning tasks up amongst both of you, so nobody feels like they are doing all the cleaning. Being mindful of your items or messes and how they affect the people you live with shows your respect for the other person. When all roommates treat their space with care, it’s more comfortable and feels like a home for everyone.  Trust me, nobody wants to be known as a messy roommate. 

3. Always Assume Good Intentions

When you're living with someone for the first time, it’s easy to get in your head about every little thing. “Are they mad at me? Was their tone a little off? Are they not talking to me because they're mad, or tired?”. Save yourself the stress and always assume they have good intentions, because most of the time, they do! We’re all human, sometimes we’re just tired, we don’t mean any harm, or it just came out wrong. Unless an issue is brought up, don’t try to make something out of nothing, you will drive yourself crazy! 

4. Respect each others schedules

Sometimes and a lot of the time your schedules are not going to line up exactly. One will be up earlier than the other, one will be up later than the other, but you need to figure out how you're going to make it work. Nobody wants to be woken up earlier than they have to be, and nobody wants to be woken up when they’re trying to go to bed. So as much as we all love to watch TikToks or YouTube videos while we get ready or we rummage through everything to find one little thing, respect that your roommate doesn’t have to be awake right now. Headphones are one of those things that will become your best friend in a dorm room.  

 

The same goes for guests. Some people love having friends over all the time, while others are more interested in a quieter space. Checking in with your roommate before inviting people over and respecting each other's comfort levels goes a long way when sharing a space. Maybe they’re cramming for an exam you didn’t know they had, maybe they’re homesick and need a movie night with their friend. You don’t have to agree on everything, but having clear expectations and communicating with each other makes living together much easier.  

5. Laugh Off the small Stuff

This goes back to always assuming good intentions. Being able to laugh off misunderstandings, awkward moments, or small disagreements is so important in a roommate's dynamic. Not every little thing calls for a roommate meeting, that will make living together exhausting. Ask yourself, “will this bother me this bad in a week?” and if the answer is no, laugh it off and let it go. Do both of you a favor and don’t sweat the small stuff! 

6. what's theirs...is not yours

While we all learned from a young age, sharing is caring, you still have to ask for someone to share. Just because you're in the same space doesn’t mean everything in this space is free to use. Whether this is food, clothes, hygiene products, you name it, it is always best to ask and get shot down then not ask and face an upset roommate. Don’t take something you are not ready to replace! 

7. Always Lock the Door when you leave

This one seems obvious but it’s easy to forget sometimes. Even if you think you’ll be back in a minute if you're just grabbing food, it is always better to be safe than sorry. Try to create a habit of always locking the door behind you, coming in and coming out. Keeping your space, belongings, and roommate safe are very important when you're getting used to not living with your parents. Knowing the door is locked saves you and your roommate unnecessary stress and that unnecessary trip to the door to check if it’s locked when you're both comfortable in bed. Safety and security are such simple and respectful ways to show that you care about someone.

8. build a friendship

Being roommates comes with spending a lot of your time with someone, but that doesn’t mean you guys need to hangout 24/7. We’re all human, and our social batteries are bound to run out at some point. Everyone has their moments when they need to keep to themselves. Whether you need to study, you're feeling homesick, or maybe you simply just want to enjoy some time alone, we’ve all been there. Being able to know when your roommate needs space and being able to respect that avoids unnecessary tension and creates a healthy living environment for both of you. Checking in with each other every now and then can also make a big difference. A simple "How's your day going?" or "Want to grab lunch later?" is a simple way to let them know you’re there for them without diving too much into it. Those little moments can help both of your experiences feel a little more like home. College has its ups and downs and having a roommate who respects your boundaries while also being part of your support system can make the experience so much better.  

Here's to new memories and Great Roommates

At the end of the day nobody is perfect, and getting a roommate for the first time is a big adjustment for everyone! The important part is you do your best to care and respect the person you share a space with. Of course, there will be ups and downs, but you will learn and get through them together. Some of the best parts of the college experience are memories made with your roommate. Whether that be staying up all night laughing, nighttime snack runs or simply enjoying each other's presences. Here is to making your new space a home and hopefully a lifelong memory!