Listening: The Most Important Tool
When students feel heard, they are more likely to:
- Build trust
- Reflect honestly
- Identify challenges
- Explore solutions
- Take ownership of their next steps
Listening Pitfalls and Tips
Three Common Coaching Pitfalls
By nature of being a human who wants to help others, we can often unintentionally fall into unproductive listening.
#1 Fixing or Jumping to Solutions
Student: "I keep missing assignments."
Coach: "You should get a planner."
Remember: Before offering solutions, take time to understand what is really getting in the student's way.
#2: Comparing or Making It About You
Student: "College has been really overwhelming."
Coach: "When I was a freshman..."
Remember: While personal experiences can occasionally be helpful, coaching conversations should stay focused on the student's experience, not your own.
#3: Interrogating or Asking Too Many Questions
Sometimes coaches ask question after question without acknowledging what they've heard. Instead, pause to:
- Reflect back what you heard.
- Summarize key ideas
- Give students time to think.
Remember: Great coaching conversations feel like a dialogue, not an interview.
Listening Tools for Coaches
#1 Reflecting
Reflect back what you hear.
Student: "I feel like everyone else has this figured out."
Coach: "It sounds like you're feeling behind compared to other students."
Why it matters: It shows you're listening and helps students feel understood.
#2 Clarifying
Dig a litter deeper with curiosity.
"Can you tell me about that?"
What do you mean by that?"
Why it matters: It helps you understand the full story behind the words.
#3 Summarizing
Pull the key ideas together.
"What I'm hearing is that balancing work, classes, and family responsibilities has been challenging this semester."
Why it matters: It shows you're listening and helps organize the conversation.
#4 Pausing
Give space. Let them think.
...
Why it matters: Silence creates space for insight. Don't rush. Trust the pause.
Three Ways to Listen as a Coach
Where a coach's focus goes shapes the conversation. Remember to stay curious a little longer. When we shift our focus from responding to understanding, we create space for students to discover their own paths forward.
Listen to Respond
Thinking about:
- What advice should I give?
- What should they do?
- What would I do?
The focus is on your response.
Listening to Understand
Thinking About:
- What is the student experiencing?
- What matters to them?
- What are they not saying?
The focus is on the student.
Listening for Possibility
Listening for:
- strengths
- values
- motivations
- opportunities
- potential next steps
The focus is on helping students move forward.
The University of Wyoming has earned its Research Level 1 (R1) status from the Carnegie Classification of Institutions of Higher Education, placing Wyoming's only four-year university with the top research universities in the United States.