Personal & Family Stress

Disaster can be an accute trigger of stress

A natural or man-made disaster can leave a trail of destruction and many times it leaves thousands of its victims with a damaged sense of balance. In addition to restoring buildings and replacing material possessions, those effected may need to devote time to restoring their own emotional equilibrium. This can be especially important for children who do not have years of life experience to guide them.

 

If you or someone you know is in accute crisis contact 911. If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the following contacts are available 24 hours a day 7 days a week:

Disaster Helpline     AgStress Helpline     988 Helpline

Stress & Mental Health resources

 

a person in a cowboy hat is seen from over the shoulder looking at a pen of cows

  • Change in routines. A person or family stops attending church, drops out of 4-H or other groups, or no longer stops in at the local coffee shop or gathering place.
  • Increase in illness. Farmers or farm family members may experience more colds or routine illnesses or have other chronic conditions such as aches, pains or a persistent cough.
  • Appearance of farmstead declines. The family no longer takes pride in the way farm buildings and farmstead look or keeps up with maintenance work.
  • Care of livestock declines. Animals may not be cared for in the usual way; they may lose condition, appear gaunt or show signs of neglect.
  • Increase in farm injuries. The risk of injury can increase due to fatigue or loss of ability to concentrate. Children may be at risk if there isn’t adequate childcare as a result of finances or other conditions.
  • Children show signs of stress. Farm children may act out, decline in academic performance or be increasingly absent from school. They may also show signs of physical or verbal abuse or neglect.

If you notice that you are stressed, employ coping methods like

  • Cognitive-behavioral restructuring. Alter thoughts to something more realistic, such as keeping things in perspective, letting go of blame and guilt, and keeping a positive attitude.
  • Physical activity. Those who exercise often are less likely to experience stress and depression.
  • Relaxation. Take small breaks out of your day to collect yourself and recharge.
  • Get good quality sleep.
  • Social support. Social support is connected with reduction of stress, decreased risk of depression, better health, and faster recovery from illness.
  • Enhance money and time management skills.
  • Strengthen spiritual resources.
  • Strengthen personal and family relationships. Social support is connected with reduction of stress, decreased risk of depression, better health, and faster recovery from illness.
    • Increase the time spent with supportive family and friends, who are important buffers in times of stress.
    • Practice positive communication with loved ones by listening and expressing appreciation.
    • Be mindful of what is most important to oneself and one’s family.
    • Remain aware of ongoing changes that contribute to stress, and postponing new commitments if they will add stress.
    • Reach out to people in the community (being there for others strengthens one’s own circle of support).

Friends, neighbors, and business associates can help other copes more effectively. Here are nine points to assist in relating to those experiencing stress. 

  • Take time to listen. Stressed individuals should not be rushed. By taking the time to listen, you are showing that you care. Ask questions so you clearly understand the prob­lem. By asking questions, the individual must respond to you in a manner that helps them frame and understand their own problem.
  • Be non-critical and non-judgmental as the individual shares his/her troubles. While their problem may not seem huge to you, it is to them.
    Counsel on a one-on-one basis. Be a good listener - don’t interrupt. Try to draw them out. Get them to talk. This can be a tremendous pressure reliever.
  • Be empathetic. We cannot know how the individual feels unless we have been there. Avoid one-upmanship.
  • Try to separate the problem’s causes from the symptoms. Assist the individual in recognizing the difference. As the saying goes, “sometimes it’s hard to see the forest for the trees”, especially when we’re in the middle of the forest.
  • Try to help the individual think logically and rationally. Jotting things down on a yellow note pad and prioritizing them can do wonders. Keep it simple.
  • Encourage the individual to get back into a routine of doing things. Stress often brings on apathy and a loss of interest in things formerly enjoyed.
  • Learn to recognize the signs of stress. There are many excellent publications available.
  • Above all, make sure the individual retains ownership of his/her problems. If you pick up the other person’s problem, you both have a problem and you lose your objectivity. 

Dealing with stress often calls for professional help that may be beyond your capacity, regardless of how sincere you may be. When this happens, suggest that the individual seek professional help. People who are concerned about a stressed family can put the stressed person/family in touch with professionals who are trained to provide assistance. You can:

 

  • Listen for signs and symptoms that the person or family needs help—financial, legal or personal counseling.
  • Be aware of the agencies and resources available in the community.
  • Find out what services they offer and what their limitations are.
  • Determine which resource would be most appropriate to address the person’s or family’s problem.

 

Discuss the referral with the person or family (“It looks like you are feeling frustrated with your financial problems. I think this person or agency could help you deal with your situation.”) Explore the individual’s or family’s willingness to initiate contact with the community resource. Ask: “How do you feel about seeking help from this person or agency?”

 

If the person or family is unwilling to take the initiative or if there is some danger if action is not taken, you may have to take the initiative. Ask for permission to contact the agency; then call that agency, share your concern and discuss how the agency will respond to this referral.